“I was exhausted, on my knees and at the end of my tether!”
Sandra tells her husband Peter’s story…
Peter Robson is 63 and he and his wife Sandra have been living with his diagnosis of stage 5 advanced metastatic prostate cancer since early 2021. He scored 9 out of 10 on the Gleeson scale and his PSA was 215.
“Peter and I had our first date at Mill House Swimming Pool and within three weeks I’d decided Peter was the man I wanted to marry. It was a whirlwind romance and we married in 1990 followed by a wonderful honeymoon in Magaluf!
We started our family straight away and now have two beautiful children; Sally, 32 and Jane, We are also proud grandparents of two gorgeous grandchildren, 4 year old Arthur and 18 month old Billy.
Peter is an intelligent man, it was one of the things that attracted me to him. He worked as a self-employed Chartered Electrical Engineer, a proud member of the I.E.T and provided our family with a wonderful life. We had amazing family holidays, mostly in the UK and an active life together. Peter also loved to play golf and enjoyed many golfing holidays with the lads!
Peter was diagnosed with stage 5 advanced metastatic Prostate cancer in January 2021.
His first and only symptom was blood in his urine and despite this he was still feeling very well in himself.
Following his diagnosis, Peter and I discussed how we would manage his ongoing care and decided together that he would stay at home and I would be his main carer despite my own poor health.
During the early stages after diagnosis this was entirely manageable and we had amazing support from the Palliative Care Team.
Peter underwent 6 palliative chemotherapy treatments and 10 Radiotherapy Fractions but eventually his pain became unmanageable and it was sometimes difficult to really understand what pain he was in; Peter had started to struggle with his memory and communication. He needed multiple medications, some I could give him but others I had to call for District Nurses to administer for him.
By this time I was really struggling mentally, physically and emotionally to provide for his increasing needs – not something that either of us wanted to admit.
My mental health was really starting to suffer and I had wondered who would care for Peter if I wasn’t here. Everything felt bleak, awful.
It was at this real low point that I was introduced to Sue Whalley, Nurse Practitioner from Alice House Hospice. I can’t really remember how it happened, who referred us but I remember feeling so very grateful after talking to her.
Without Sue’s understanding of the situation, through her years of experience, my family would be losing, not only their Dad but myself as well as I was exhausted, on my knees and at the end of my tether!
Sue listened to everything I needed to say, and there was a lot; Peter now needed more than I could give. She reassured us both that Alice House could help and Peter was referred to the Inpatient Unit for a Medical Patient Review.
Since Peter has come into Alice House I feel like we can be husband and wife again, I have been able to ‘take my foot of the pedal’ and let the lovely staff deliver the care I no longer could at home. The Hospice is for families and in my opinion from what I’ve seen, is run like one big caring, loving family. I will be forever grateful to Sue; without her help and intervention my whole family would be broken. Life is precious and the team at the Hospice have given us precious, beautiful, love filled time with Peter.
Peter is now in the Long Term Unit where he will get the best care while I can begin to re-balance my life and spend some time with my family as well as quality time here with Peter.”
Peter has sadly passed away since the time of writing. In loving memory of Peter.