Remembering Mam and Dad
Remembering John & June McPartlin
John & June McPartlin have been remembered with a glass brick dedicated to them in the Wall of Light at Alice House. Cindy McPartlin is an HCA at the Hospice and tells their story here...
“My parents met in the mid 50’s while my father was on leave from serving with the Royal Marines. He had been abroad for sometime in Malta, Cyprus, Egypt and other countries after having joined up at the young age of 17. They met in a club called Semines, Dad was just 20 and Mam 17 years old.
They instantly fell in love and decided to marry; Mam had to get permission from her parents as she was only 19 years old at the time. The marriage was on 29th March 1957, they told me it was a cold winter’s day and snowing like a blizzard but they were in love and the weather didn’t bother them.
They bought their first home and settled straight into married life, building a home together. A few years later my sister was born and I followed a few years after her. We had a good upbringing; we always felt safe and loved by both our parents.
My parents worked hard all their married life and became comfortable and well established; during the 80’s and 90’s they took many holidays abroad, visiting countries where Dad had been stationed during his 17 years of service with the Marines. The two of them seemed inseparable.
The holidays stopped when Mum’s health started to deteriorate and she underwent a number of operations, but they were stilll very happy together and just as in love.
My sister and I watched them growing old, Dad became Mam’s full time carer and it was only when he reached his 80’s that we had to step in and start helping them. Lock down wasn’t good for them, we watched at first from a distance due to regulations but it got to the point where we had to intervene and start helping out; I had to slowly build Dad’s confidence in letting me help with their personal care.
We managed to support them at home together until April 2022 when Dad had his stroke; he was taken to hospital and I spent 9 days with him. Mam had to go into a care home for respite care as her health was also getting worse, we did manage to get Dad into the same home when he was discharged from hospital for rehabilitation. At this point my sister and I realised it wasn’t safe for them to return home.
Mam was admitted to North Tees Hospital in October that year and we were told it wasn’t good news. Two days later Mam was transferred to Alice House Hospice for end of life palliative care.
Mam was unconscious and on oxygen and at this point some family members came to say their goodbyes. Dad wasn’t well enough to come to Mam’s bedside and we made the heartbreaking decision to let him know later.
The time in Alice House was precious, I spent the night with Mam, talking to her, playing her music and reminiscing over old memories. She passed away peacefully in a very safe environment, with dignity and respect in the early hours of 20th October, she was 84 years old, my heart was broken.
My sister and I broke the news to Dad, it broke his heart, his lifelong soulmate had gone, his life would never be the same again. He was not a well man and they had both been holding out for one another. A few days later Dad was admitted to Alice House for symptom control and it soon became clear that he was too at the end of life stage. Dad used to say ‘We are like two humming birds, once one dies the other will die too.’.
Staff at Alice House made Dad comfortable and again our family came to say their goodbyes, just a few days after our mam. Dad was just short of his 87th birthday when he passed away, again in a safe environment and with dignity and respect just 12 days after our Mam, his beloved wife.
We had not had time to grieve from Mam before Dad passed away and now it hit like a tonne of bricks – it hurt so much. They had been married for 64 years and we held a joint funeral for them – they were buried together just ad they had wanted.
Both myself and my sister decided that we would dedicate a memory brick in the Wall of Light at Alice House as this was where they both spent their last days being cared for. I get great comfort knowing a part of them is there and I can visit anytime of the day, especially on special occasions, when I sit in the garden and reflect on lovely memories.
I will be forever grateful for all the care and respect that both my parents received at Alice House and for the support and comfort that was shown towards myself and my family in our darkest hours from the amazing team of staff which I am so proud to also call my colleagues.
I know that they are both resting together now in eternal love.”